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tv   The Daily Show With Jon Stewart  Comedy Central  July 19, 2011 9:30am-10:00am PDT

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ust your senses. we'll be in contact. if we're not, pray. let's go! godspeed. [mumbling] so, we don't have to do them for secret santa. no. we don't. all: yeah! >> july 18, 2011. from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart.
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welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. our guest is daniel radcliffe. the star of the new flick harry potter and the half billion dollars in worldwide weekend gross. so exciting tonight. i found out something scientifically i didn't know was possible. a canadian with breed with a german. did you know that? ( cheers and applause ) i don't even know how they fit them together. they've created a new species of canad-erman. you know what? no fooling around. our top story tonight, of course, the debt ceiling. our ongoing segment. that is in no way hyperbolic
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as america mes closer to laying out a blanket in front of our garage and selling off all our old board games it has become clear that time for action is short. >> theate president says he wants an agreement. >> president obama set a deadline. >> president obama now says it's decision time. >> jon: snap, commander in chief throwing down a deadline. on friday the president of the united states broke out his "i mean business" podium. >> we are obviously running out of time. so what i've said to the members of congress is that you need over the next 24 to 36 hours to give me some sense of what your plan is to get the debt ceiling raised through whatever mechanisms they can think about. >> jon: damn!
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republicans, you owe me a 24 to most likely 36 hours to be all... we were kind of thinking of maybe... damn! and if you don't, there is a strong possibility that you will be asked again, you know. for at least some sense of what your plan is because... anywho. all right, the president when he does lay down the snackdown and say you've got 24 to 36 hours and he tells you that on friday certainly by monday we're going to see some progress. >> good morning to you, jeff. no talks scheduled at least as of yet for today and no visible progress over the weekend. >> jon: aha! no "visible" progress. so visible. all the progress over the weekend took place in the microbial world.
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republican bacteria quite busy. anaerobiccally... i'm being told that didn't happen either. why won't republicans negotiate in good faith? is it because they perhaps sense in the stand off the opportunity to weigh down this presidency to the sputtering economy hastening obama's inexorable slide to one termsmanship or perhaps is it something that it clearly isn't. >> why has the debt limit been raised 60 times? what is different about this president? that should put him in a position that he should not receive the same kind of respectful treatment of when it is necessary to raise the debt limit in order to pay our bills. why is he different? >> jon: he's the first president in history to own a portuguese water dog?
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he voted against raising the debt ceiling in 2006? wait. that can't be it. just tell us. >> why is this president being treated so disrespectfully? i am particularly sensitive to the fact that only this president, only this one, only this one has received the kind of attacks and disagreements and inability to work, only this one. read between the lines. >> jon: read between the lines? i can't even focus. your shirt is like an optical illusion for god's sakes. your shirt is like one of them page i can eye posters. maybe if i just stare at your shirt, i'll figure out. oh! that's what you're trying to
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say. ( cheers and applause ) i'm not sure that's it. why didn't she just say that in the first place? i don't think that's right. i think the reason republicans won't work with the president isn't because he's black. it's because they think he's crazy. >> unless the president gets off of his absolute obsession with raising taxes. >> the obama administration's continued obsession with raising taxes. >> obsession to raise taxes. >> we need jobs in america. you're not going to get them as long as theate president of the united states has this tax obsession. >> jon: he is obsessed. that explains obama's new cologne. because he makes over $200,000 a year. why do they treat this president differently? because he's not wearing a shirt?
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do any democrats have hair on their chests? weiner? for god's sakes. is there some sort of litmus test somewhere. of course the republicans are reacting to president's debt reduction plan including revenue increases such as closing corporate loopholes and rescinding the bush tax cuts on the rich. the rich. or as the republicans call them. >> job creators. >> it is certainly making it difficult for the job creators. >> getting washington off the backs of the job creators. >> stopping tax increases on our job creators. >> jon: republicans are no longer allowed to say that people are rich. you have to refer to them as job creators. you can't even use the word rich. you have to say this chocolate cake is so moist and job creator. my favorite comic book is job creator e.job creator. the debt ceiling debate, if
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you could even call it a debate, seems at this point still in its cynical strategy phase which obviously they can get away with as long as the public doesn't demand action on the debt ceiling. too bad for the politicians that we have a vibrant and focused media culture in this country, dead i caned to battling obfuscation and bringing clarity. >> only 20 to 25% of americans want a deal. that is only spending cuts. >> almost 70% of americans want a solution that includes both spending cuts and revenue increases. >> an overwhelming 55% of americans want nothing to do with the tax hike and the debt deal. >> the vast majority of americans want tax hikes to be part of the debt ceiling deal. >> 11% of americans say that increasing government spending will be good for the economy. >> americans by almost a two to one margin want their member of congress to vote
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against raising the debt ceiling. >> there's now more americans who say, raise it. we understand the implications to the economy. >> 24% of americans support lifting the debt limit. >> 53% are in favor of voting against raising the debt kreel >> about 3% of americans admit to watching porn at work. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: now that we've baffled you with nonsense we return to our regularly scheduled program unlikable people in make up yell at casey anthony. [ man ] i got this new citi thankyou card
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>> jon: welcome back to the program. as we just saw in the first act, the nation clearly is in dire straits with regards to the debt ceiling crisis. for more on its possible impact we're joined by the daily show's senior economist jason jones. jason, thanks for joining us. ( cheers and applause ) . jason, if the experts are to be believed, inaction on the debt ceiling and deficit reduction would be catastrophic. but the negotiations have thus far seemingly brought out the worst in our political and
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pundit class. >> that's right. and if the conversation continues this way, we could very well hit the national bull (beep) ceiling. >> jon: that would be catastrophic. >> that's right. as you know, jon, the national bull (beep) ceiling or to put it in layman's terms the amount of bull (beep) people are actually willing to take has been freezing up. >> jon: where are we with the bull (beep) ceiling right now? >> right now americans have pretty much had it up to about here with this bull (beep). by the end of this month it seems likely we'll have had it up to here. bull wooepwise. the last time i checked we don't have pooh-gills. >> jon: what would the ramification of that be? >> historically the balance in our country country has always been money talks and bull (beep) walks but this recent surge has so bloated bull (beep) it is no longer ambulatory.
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william jennings brian must be rolling over in his grave. >> jon: william jennings brian, what does he have to do with it? >> as you know he was one of the earliest crusaders against (beep)-flation. his famous 1896 speech you will not crucify mankind upon a cross of poop. as you know jennings never wore blue. >> jon: clearly a couple of history majors laughed at that. anyway, i have to tell you i'm very impressed. you really know your bull (beep). >> well, got a b.s. >> jon: where did you go to school? brown? >> very mature. very mature, jon. you know very well i went to anal roberts university. >> jon: so.... >> a good school. >> jon: so fightin' fishers. you know, we're close to hitting the bull (beep) ceiling.
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why should we worry. >> jon, if we reach the point where the amount of bull (beep) exceeds the amount of actual things, we will effectively default on reality. it's already started happening. >> if you want an abortion you go to planned parenthood. that's well over 90% of what planned parenthood does. >> we did call his office trying to ask what he was talking about there. i just want to give it to you verbatim here. i says his remark was not intended to be a factual statement. >> did you see that? when jon kyl got called on business bull (beep) response was to get angry at people to expect something other than bull (beep). ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: jason, why can't we just in this time of crisis, why can't we just raise the bull (beep) kreel something. >> jon, this isn't an arbitrary figure like the debt ceiling. this is real. and if we can't cut the bull
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(beep), then there's only one solution. we as a nation need to start replacing (beep) with farts from our butt. >> jon: come on, jason. >> factual assess manys of reality-based truths or farts. we need politicians and journalists willing to call bull (beep) on the bull (beep). >> jon: but you said the farts would come from our butt. >> yes. bold, uncompromising truth telling. butt. why, what did you? oh, farts from our butt. jon, grow up. jon, grow up. >> jon: ...was it something big? ...or something small? ...something old? ...or something new?
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...or maybe, just maybe... it's something you haven't seen yet. the 2nd generation of intel core processors. stunning visuals, intelligent performance. this is visibly smart.
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( cheers and applause ) >> jon: welcome back. my guest tonight starring in how to succeed in business without really trying. you may know him from harry potter and the deathly hallows part 2. >> can you see anything? >> everything you touch will multiply.
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>> jon: come on. that looks cool. please welcome daniel radcliffe. ( cheers and applause ) nice to see you. thanks for being here. >> thank you very much for having me on. >> jon: i don't want spoilers. i don't want... i've not had a chance. does he get his ring back? >> yes. he's the central character in this film. >> jon: what an exciting time. how are you feeling right now? is it excitement over having this done? is it melancholy, bitter-sweet? >> i don't know. it's weird. when we were at the london premiere i was getting very emotional. i was kind of, you know, it's been a year since we stopped filming.
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i guess i'm just kind of focused on the show at the moment as well as doing it eight times a week. yeah, i don't know. i mean.... >> jon: are you doing the show tonight? >> no, no, no. monday is our night off. >> jon: you get one night off on eight shows a week? well, that is the lazyiest thing i've ever heard in my life. try doing four 2-minute ones. >> it's kind of sad and we've all had our grieving period. now it's very exciting because loads of people gts. >> jon: they're going crazy for it. when they come at you with that excite many, is it hard as someone who is a a part of it for ten years, do you get jaded? does people's enthusiasm, do you go like that's nice. >> not at all. >> jon: you know, it's magic. >> not at all. that's what's kind of cool. that's what's great about the series is the fact we haven't got jaded. we were excited to go to work.
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from the simple fact of all loving our jobs and having different directors coming in and keeping things fresh and working with these actors. it's hard to get jaded when you're a 14-year-old. >> jon: that is part of it because as a 14-year-old being jaded is in many ways your job. it is like, oh, gary is coming. oh, wow. you're 14, you know. >> i know but i don't think i've been very good at that. there's this whole thing about people my age. i think what's lovely about this is it does knots apply to them in the slightest. i'm always amazed when i meet a person my own age who is enthusiastic. i latch on them. cool. you don't care about all this ridiculous pretending that you don't care about stuff. >> jon: right. it reminds me of star wars. i'm a 48-year-old man. at a certain point going to
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the star wars conventions, you know, but as long as my son will dress up like obi-wan and provide some type of cover for me, i don't mind. i'm not jaded about it at all. i find these movies to be wonderful morality tales with great characters. i enjoy the hell out of them. >> they're a huge amount of fun. it's actually funny. amy, she lives in my building. and the other day i've been saying it for weeks. i never said anything to her. i had to lean over and said i've got to tell you i'm a massive fan of the mighty-b which is a cartoon. only one person here knows it. >> jon: i know it. >> i'm scared to admit that that's perhaps not the one thing she would have liked me to pick out of her catalogue of work. i spent three hours today watching cartoons. >> jon: i like your job. >> this girl i remember asking
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at the opening night party, she said how did you prepare for this show? she wanted me to say i sit in a stable for a couple of days. i was like well i watched cartoons. kind of go to work and do it. >> jon: i can tell my children are going to be actors. >> that's all the prep you really need. >> jon: i wanted to show you something. here are the real world implications of harry potter. across from our studio. we're here on the 11th avenue and 52nd street studios which is new york's famed crack core district. there is a tournament just three days ago and it's a quittage tournament. real people playing real quittage. we asked them to submit some questions for you. i want you to see it and then obviously answer some. look at that one.
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>> >> do you feel any guilt at all from our ongoing virginity? do you know any anti-wedgey spells. >> dan, what was up with the first half of the 7th movie. it was mentioned in the book but not the other movies. >> can you tell my mom to pick me up at 5:00. >> did you ever do it. what is "do it"? ( cheers and applause ) >> let me think. yes, i feel very guilty. your mom has probably left you there by now. i can't remember what the other ones are but that poor kid, they were like tackling him. >> jon: he's ten. >> he's the snitch. i had to explain to me that somebody runs around as a snitch and he's pounced on. >> jon: the kid in yellow is talking and there's a guy
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behind him wielding the broom like a club. >> i didn't see that. >> jon: like capone in the untouchables. like "this broom gives me enthusiasm." have you actually gone.... >> jon. with all due respect, what do you think would happen if i did this? it would be chaos. i find the real.... >> jon: it would be absolute madness. >> it would be a nightmare. i would like to think i would be really good. >> jon: you'd be, in fact, the chosen one. >> nice. >> jon: harry potter and the deathly hallows, part 2. >> you can't avoid it. >> jon: you should go see it in the theaters right now because it hasn't earned its second bill
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( cheers and applause ) >> jon: that's our show. join us tomorrow night at 11:00. here it is your moment of